what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
