New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
