roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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