Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
