His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
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