things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
