Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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