I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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