Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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