They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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