If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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