I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i barfeds in our rink
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Randomize
