End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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