i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
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