During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
