we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
It's just like the Real World with babies
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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