I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
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