I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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