Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
be right there i have to get my cape
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
