I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
