I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
