I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
