We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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