Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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