i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
