I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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