I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
