Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
