real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
