yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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