Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
