I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
