I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
