i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
