it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
