Just mADE A PArabola og urine
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
