this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
