I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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