As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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