If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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