I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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