I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
