so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
