so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
