just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
