But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
