She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
