I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
