My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
