I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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