yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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