just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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